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Wednesday, 10 June 2015

An Open Letter to 10 Year Old B.

It's Me, in your 25th year of life (yes, you've got 'old'). Lets bring you up-to-date.

You have actually completed school (finally!), finished all your exams up to university (wahey!), can drive a car, have friends and doing 'something creative'. Ok, Your still an anxious-mess, still biting your nails, still have that mystery sickness that's plagued you spontaneously since your were 5, do not have zillions of children or cats for that matter and there is no sign of Mr. Right yet- despite what the creepy palm-reader prophesies when your 17 (to look forward to Little B!). But enough about me now, I'm hoping you are free and not absently glancing at this while watching Neighbours or swooning over Andrew Haiden-Smith in Biker Grove (HE'S GAY!...didn't see that one coming did you now!) to listen and obied by some Life Lessons *dramatic thunder clap*

Yes, no protests please, you do need them Little Juan* as your slightly sheltered, privileged upbringing will have warped your view on life and just to ease the blow when you eventually go to college here are some pointers.

The social demands of school break-times, lunchtime choir rehearsals, taking in a blimin' carrot for a class rabbit are not scary things, there are a lot more things to worry about nowadays than there are when your 10: (like making a giant spider for a professional pantomime with no budget, locking yourself and all 5 of your housemates out of your house, blocking the art room sink with plaster and causing 'thousands of pounds worth of damage' to the room below. Oh clumsy-catatrophies follow you everywhere- be on the look out!). Let alone when you were 5 and equally anxious-when life makes you go to Nursery and the lovely homely bubble of happiness bursts. You are an over-thinker. Make lists, talk to those worry dolls and calm the hell down!
There's a plan for you and you just need to let it happen.

Scrape that sour expression off your face. Your 'default face' makes everyone think you're ill or about to cry and in the staff room they call you the 'monosyllabic' one- which is not a compliment! That social barrier is all in your head-you're allowed to talk to people not in your year group. People are allowed more than one friend. Your allowed to smile and weirdly, people do actually want to talk to you! Your not deaf or slow it's a thing called 'Auditory Processing Delay'- it's just another annoying trait you have to live with. The first time you talk to someone they aren't aware of how you perceive yourself so chin up and say cheese. :D

Now, in your own words you would describe yourself a 'failure'. Ok, so your in the bottom sets for anything academic, have extra lessons to keep up with the work and now having speech and language therapy. BUT these are just the foundations for the glorious ease that writing and understanding will come to you, come university and the big wide world beyond! (Although Maths will remain a  incomprehensible foreign language I'm afraid) With all the support and the safety-net provided by your schooling (which you look on fondly now and miss dearly) you will blossom at your own pace and are in for some top grades in a few years time-just stick with it!

You will defy all the expectations that everyone had before you were born. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else- their in a different boat altogether. You are you, creative, quirky and musical- draw on those strengths! Also, the one thing you need to hold on to is that your a great listener and have so much compassion- trust me we need more people in this world with those traits!

You are constantly hunching over to remain invisible. Hunching is only OK if your cold, or listening to short people talking (that's their problem, not yours). You do get taller and people constantly make obvious 'clever' observations of how tall you are and 'Oh! How you've grown'- but embrace this! 
Reply : 'Yes, and how you've shrunk!' (Dare you to-before it's socially unacceptable!)

You can reach things, you can be the beacon for people leading the way through a crowd, you get asked to be 'Goal Shooter' on your school's netball team (for the first and last time in your life but then it did clash with Harp lessons!), you can get away with 'podging' out and you are the envy of all short people. You are elegant, you can wear floaty dresses, you make grown men look like hobbits, you look impressive when you dance and get a better view when standing at gigs (which yes, after school you do discover! Think of all the Enrique Iglesias tours your missing out on- you are soon to discover His Gorgeousness Little Juan)

You are as worthy to be as seen as everyone else so if you've got- it flaunt it!

So here's the deal. You get bullied, ripped apart, told your in the wrong because everyone else is jealous. It's true. It's not your problem, it's how they deal with their insecurities. (You only realise this in your 2nd year of uni- which hell yes, you complete! *trumpeting fan fair*) so from now on start building your self-esteem. Take those compliments, don't sweep them aside before you get swept aside too!

You are allowed an opinion! You will always be the worst decision-maker due to over-thinking everything but hey, nobody's perfect.

And think, if you can get up on stage, do a harp recital, sing a solo like you do at school and with the drama group-  you can take on anything!

And before I go, any male specimen who breathes is not always looking at you, get over yourself!

Can you believe it, some of your friends are married! having children! and yes your still on the shelf not gathering dust, mind you but give it time Little B. You will have your fair share of 'romantic attachments' and despite all the bad, crap (yes, your language has become 'colourful' these days!) they put you through, at the end of the day they help you become who you are today- which isn't all that bad!

You will come to learn that you do like adventure- are an adrenaline junky: love rollercoasters,  you don't mind traveling on your own,  that you like creepy Horror and Thriller movies, that choosing to drink plain water is a thing, that it's 'HOLIDAYS are coming' not 'ALL THE DAYS are coming' in the coke advert, that Gotham is a place not Batman's name, and above all, that you are worth more than how many of them perceive you and treat you.

So 'Soulmate', if your reading this, you have 8 months left to come into my life...or Mr. Creepy palm-reader: I want my money back!

Now then Little B, although the next 15 years is a slippery slope the one thing you can be grateful for is the ever-lasting Support from your family. Your sister, despite the amount of bullying you little brat have put her through will guide you through the nitty-gritty of adult life and above all Mum will stick by you through everything. She is your rock, she does so much for you- give her some verbal appreciation once is a while and hold on to the fact that what ever happens, she is at the end of a telephone line!

(Older and Wiser *waves regally*)

*Little Juan references a children's maths programme I grew up watching- anyone remember (sings raucously) EL NOMBREEEEE* ?

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